[Unfortunately I was unable to find a version Hellraiser: Deader-Winter’s Lament on youtube to view.The film maker does offer it on DVD and I may try and track it down before Halloween to review it. Meanwhile here are three more Hellraiser fan films, continuing the reviews from last week. Links to each film are provided.]
Wordsworth (dir. Phil Robinson, 2007, story by Neil Gaiman)
Wordsworth is the story of Wordsworth (Aaron Darragh), appropriately enough, who is obsessed with words: books, word puzzles and script in general. While at a bus station he finishes a crossword puzzle that he’s working on to pass the time. The man sitting next to him notices and offers him a crude crossword to work on. He then stands and leaves, revealing that he's blind. Wordsworth quickly dives in, the first question asks “What you did to the rabbit?” He ponders the question a moment, then jots down “drowned.” This continues for what appears to be weeks or even months. Each question either refers to a dark moment in his past, or requires him to commit some heinous deed to reveal the answer. He moves forward, committing even more grotesque actions as he goes until he reaches the last question: “The Gateway” which the answer is “Hell.” He fills in the blank and opens up the gateway. Chains rip his flesh and the words “Love Me” appear across his chest. Here the film ends.
The story is fantastic! But credit doesn’t go to the filmmakers, they’ve adapted a short story by Neil Gaiman that he wrote for the Hellraiser comics (issue #20, 1993). While the story is interesting and engaging, the treatment is not. There is constant narration (by Phil Robinson) accompanied by constant, stylized text across the screen. This would be fine if the script wasn’t constant, but it quickly becomes a distraction. The narration itself is done with a distorted voice, which also wears thin very quickly. We see the actors act out the narration behind the blocks of text or between cuts to black screens where the narration appears, and it quickly becomes tedious. The effects are nearly non-existence, which is understandable given the limited budget the filmmakers likely had. What effects are there are ok, but fall flat and really only occur at the end.
Neil Gaiman’s short stories are typically very good, and this is no exception. Ultimately I don’t feel like the filmmakers truly made the story their own. I’d skip the movie and see if you can track down the original comic or a short story presentation of the story.
Skankobite (dir. David Lindabury, 2005)
A redneck Daddy (Ben Armstrong) watches tv, and continuously yells for his “skanky” daughter Krystal (Madeleine Corrie). She finally walks through the front door and proceeds to sit on the floor and paint her nails. He yells for her to get him a beer, then demands his “Skull” chew. It’s a puzzle box in the shape of a chew can, and when she gives it to him he is unable to open it. He throws it back to her and she solves it, much like the puzzle boxes of the Hellraiser films. She gives him the now open chew can and he stuffs a mouthful of it in his mouth. This summons cenobite like creatures: a waitress, a hunter and a “nasTcar” fan, who hook him with the chains and hooks of their feature film counterparts. The hunter tells Krystal to leave, but she refuses, so the “cenobites” change her into one of them by tearing her flesh from her belly, changing her hairdo, and makeup as well as clothing. This makes her the eponymous Skankobite. The film ends with the four of them moving forward to finish torturing Daddy.
This film is awful. There’s some moments in it that would work in any other film, but are completely wasted here. The “Skull” can is actually pretty cool, and has some of the same features as the puzzle box from the feature films. Some of the make-up effects on Krystal’s transformation into the “Skankobite” is done fairly well, at least where the flayed flesh appears. But that’s about it. The movie tries really hard to be funny. It’s not: The writing is terrible, the acting is terrible and the camera zooms in for the gross out factor: spittle and chew, drool, slime. It’s not simply blood and guts, which would be expected in a Hellraiser film. It’s almost focusing on the bodily functions. On top of that, there’s moments of dubbing that do not match anything on screen and sounds very out of place. The film wants to be a parody, and technically it is, but it’s not a good one.
I couldn’t recommend this film to fans of even terrible parodies. I can’t reiterate how bad it is. I suppose if, despite my warnings, you’re still curious check it out. But seriously, don’t waste your time.
No More Souls (dir. Gary J. Tunnicliffe, 2004)
The earth has been wiped of all human life. Pinhead (Gary J. Tunnicliffe) sits in a throne room in the halls of the Labyrinth and comments on his state of being, lamenting that it has been ages since he has experienced the flesh of someone. His existence is empty and finally, in desperation, he solves Lemarchand’s box and summons fellow cenobites who tear him apart. The film ends with the other cenobites placing Pinhead’s face on a pillar.
The film is short. The film is simple. There’s really only one character, Pinhead, and he gives you the exposition in relatively short time. The rest of the soliloquy is short, but poignant. Gary J. Tunnicliffe does a great job as old Pinhead, and while he is no Doug Bradley, he’s very convincing and satisfying in the part. The makeup is outstanding! This makes sense when you learn this production was created by an effects house. Mr. Tunnicliffe has a long history in the makeup and special effects field. As does the rest of the cast and crew. It’s actually unfair to call this a fan film, as most of the individuals involved are working professionals. However, it appears that the movie was made because those involved enjoy the Hellraiser franchise. Which, still qualifies it in my book.
The movie is short, only about seven minutes, so go watch it now.
[There are more fan films out there. Some require a bit of digging to find. There's some you may even come across some by accident with some careful 'google-fu' and a bit of luck. I may come back to this in the near future, perhaps as a bonus review in the lead up to Halloween, but next week I'm going to switch things up and look at some zombie films.]
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